im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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