used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize