So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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