I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
