She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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