the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
