I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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