barbara walters just said penis...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
