i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pants are for mortals
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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