Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
