You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
