WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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