grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
