First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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