yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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