She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
