I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
