i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
