strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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