Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
