did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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