Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Drunk is not a location!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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