i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I had to cum in my sink.
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