I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
