what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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