somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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