i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
