Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
