I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize