i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
