So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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