yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Everything about him screamed your future.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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