What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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