Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
