this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
