you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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