Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
