I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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