I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize