we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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