it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
