The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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