Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she smelled like a LAN party
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
