so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
