...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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