I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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