Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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