I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
