Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
