I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
