My nipple is on Facebook.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
