He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
