Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
