Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
