marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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