Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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