Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
