your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize