I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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