I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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