I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
