Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You are a genius and a whore.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
