She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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