Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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