Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
