Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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