What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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