And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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