my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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