what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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