i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think your dad took our porno
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